I'm sort of a believer in all of that zodiac stuff. I prefer reading
magazines from back to front instead of front to back. So always, the
horoscope page is one of the first that I read. And according to
Elle, at the end of this month, a long-distance love will become more
alluring. I'm having trouble convincing myself that this a
coincidence because guess what? At the end of this month I'm going
out-of-town to my friends wedding. OK, there's the long-distance. And!
I'm going with a date. That date? My loving longtime . . .lover.
People of the internet, I know that I've been owing you an
Meet Mister Lover:
He's my best friend.
I love this man more than Diet Dr. Pepper, more
than Laughing Cow Cheese and Reality TV combined and even more than Egg Beaters.
That sounds a little silly, I know but I'm just going to put it out
there; those are the things that I can't live without. I've
known him since he was but a lad and completely uninterested in
having anything to do with the likes of me.
Needless to say, he
came around and it's a darn good thing because I can't even imagine
how different my life would have been this past (!) decade if he
hadn't. Not in the way like, OMG how different my life would be
without Egg Beaters but like OMG how perfect this person is to me. How
adorable he is when he wears a tie and how brilliant and creative he
is and how cutie-patootie he is when he gets jealous because he always
gets so jealous. Just like me: Give me the address of that one girl
that he sort of/kind of dated/liked (argh!!!) while we were on a
long-term-non-talking break and I will go to her house, knock on her
door, say "Hey, how'ya been?" in the politetest of manners and then first
knock her out with a whoa-where-did-that-come-from swing to her
pretty little face just so that I can shave her head including her
eyebrows and leave a little note on it, something to the extent of "In the
future, don't touch Michelle's stuff. Thanks. Exes and Ohs,
Michelle." I am that
psychotic and I should get therapy for it. But
really, they say that one has never lived until one has loved and that
psycho-quality about me is a product of my passion because I loved.
And then I lost. Loved and lost, loved and lost, loved and lost.
With all of the moving that I do, for all the time
that the Lover and I have been together, we've been apart even more.
And apart has meant breaking up and getting back together. And
breaking up again. And getting back together again. And again and
again. And what all of that means is a whole lot of phone-talking
over the years. Into that goes a whole lot of mixed emotions and I'm kind of
on the emotional side anyway so it's very important to me the whole
thing. There isn't anyone more alluring to me as it is.